I wrote about this joke years ago, but I think it’s one of the best newspaper/obituary jokes ever.
I’ve heard variations of this, but according to The New York Times, the joke was also a favorite of non-other that President Franklin D. Roosevelt.
One of Roosevelt’s favorite stories was about a commuter in Westchester County, New York (Republican territory) who paid a newspaper boy 25 cents each day to look at the headlines before rushing to catch his train.
One day the boy asked why he didn’t take the entire newspaper, and the man explained that he was only interested in the obituaries.
When the boy said the obits were inside the newspaper, the man replied, “Boy, the son of a bitch I’m interested in will be on page one.”
FYI, the SOB I’m interested in definitely WILL be on Page One!