Dick’s in the hospital (again) and that reminds me of a newspaper joke

Guy walks up to a newsstand every day and buys a newspaper.

Every day he scans the front page and then gives it back.

After years of this, the news stand owner finally asks the guy,

"Why do buy a paper every day and put it back?"

The guy answers, "I’m only interested in the obituaries."

"Obituaries?" The owner says. "The obits are on page 10. You never make it that far!"

To which the guy replies,

"The sonofabitch I’m looking for will be on the front page."

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